Rules for Cats or do Cats Rule ?

  

  

  
Doors: Do not allow closed doors in any room. To get door opened, stand on hind legs and hammer with forepaws. Once door is opened, it is not necessary to use it! After you have ordered an 'outside' door opened, stand halfway in and out - think about several things. This is particularly important during very cold weather, rain or snow.

Chairs & Rugs: If you have to throw up, get to a chair quickly. If you cannot manage this in time, get to an Oriental rug.

Bathrooms: Always accompany guests into the bathroom. Its not necessary to do anything - just sit and stare.

Hampering (or annoying): If one of your humans is engaged in some close activity and the other is idle, stay with the busy one. This is called 'helping', otherwise known as 'hampering'. There are several rules for this:


Kitchens: When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the cook. You cannot be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being stepped on and then picked up and comforted.

Reading: For book readers, get in close under the chin, unless you can lie across the book itself.

Knitting: For knitting projects or paperwork, lie on the work in the most appropriate manner so as to obscure as much of the work as possible, or at the very least, the most important part of the work. Pretend to doze, but every so often reach out and slap the pencil or knitting needles. The worker may try to ignore you - but remember, the aim is to hamper work.

Any Papers: For humans paying bills (monthly activity) or working on income taxes or, even more fun, Christmas cards (an annual activity), keep in mind the aim - to hamper.

When a human is holding a newspaper in front of him/her, be sure to jump on the back of the paper. They love to jump.

Pets
From a personal point of view - I think the above rules have omitted one very important rule - bring in live mice and birds - make sure not to hurt them as your owners LOVE to try and catch them themselves ...... (ugh ---- !)

  

Rules that have been suggested by visitors to this page: 

Only get ill at night or on public holidays!

Always help out when owners are busy doing a jigsaw puzzle. Thanks for this suggestion - I know only too well this is one rule that cats do adhere to - they know those little tiny pieces of cardboard are for something!

   

See you later cats ....